Guiding questions for your doula consultation

If you’ve landed here, it’s very likely you’re looking into hiring a birth doula. If that’s me you‘ve scheduled a consult with, hi! No pressure on bringing these to our meeting. I’m an open book & want you to feel seen, heard, & supported from the get go.

The main question to ask yourself at a doula consult — Can I picture this person at my birth? Or, perhaps a better way to phrase that — Can I picture myself feeling supported & relaxed with this person at my birth?

That may be a question you sit with internally throughout a doula consultation meeting. The ones you might verbalize will vary. I typically bring my contract along with me to review with clients, and sometimes that stirs questions for potential clients and reminds me of key points to touch on.

I’ll give you these initial consult questions in a list format. Shape them to fit your curiosities as you get clear as to what you want and need from a doula and the other members of your birth team.

First off, the questions I hear most often:

1. Do you have any clients due around the same time as my due date? (To which I say, yes, or maybe, but the babies tend to arrive in an orderly, timely manner! I like to think they sort it out amongst themselves before making their way.)

2. How many births have you attended? (To which I say, for all birthworker’s, quality over quantity!)

3. Are you certified? Through which teacher/organization? (To which I say, Carriage House Birth, and I share some details of the values that drew me to their programming.)

4. What’s a back-up doula? (Only the best thing ever for everyone’s peace of mind. Us birthworkers are a community, and we need one another. I’m ever grateful to the doulas who have backed me up over the years, and will always provide one for you & your family should something come up/I need a moment to pause & catch my breath to better support you.)

Now, onto the questions I occasionally hear:

1. How do you (the doula) see yourself supporting me throughout each twist & turn of pregnancy, labor & birth, & postpartum? (I’ll often ask how you see me supporting you, the mother/birthing family, but I’m always happy to share how I can actually meet those needs, and where you might need to seek outside support/another birth professional.)

2. What is your birth philosophy? (A long story - my birth philosophy is the same as my life philosophy, and I hope it resonates with you. I’ll save this answer for a proper consult. Name any cafe in SLO & I’ll meet you there!)

3. How can I contact you during the on-call period? (To be fair, I usually bring this up first, but I love when clients get around to it first. That way, we can be on the same page on this ASAP, and have an understanding of what it will likely look like for you to call me in.)

4. What else do you offer outside of doula support? (A lot! And, there’s a plethora of resources local to the Central Coast/San Luis Obispo that I can refer you to, as well. I highly recommend receiving bodywork, pelvic floor physical therapy, movement/yoga classes, and finding community for yourself prior to giving birth, or even prior to conceiving your babe.)

And, the best for last, the questions I love to receive:

1. How did you get into this work? (To which I say, that’s a long story, but it began in my early twenties, almost a decade ago now, when I began to feel the impact of societal norms on my own womanhood. That, met with a lifetime of feeling drawn to tending to mothers, my own & otherwise, gave way to this work I’m committed to now.)

2. What do you love about this work? (To which I say, every moment of it. In the exhaustion, the delirium, the pushing, the golden hour bliss, the birth story writing. The birth highs & lows. The prenatal relationship building. It comes back to community & down to the roots of the matter with this question. I could go on & on. I adore each family I connect with, and feeling how sacred this work is, how ancient it truly is, and the responsibility I carry in carrying that forward.)

3. What’s a poignant moment in your career? (To which I say, so many, and, all of them. Each birth is its own special kind of magic. Each prenatal, each postpartum session, too. There’s so much to this work, and the experiences of perinatal folks & growing families. Each birth is a sacred threshold, and a lesson in being human, taking care of self & another, and coming into loving awareness of our Earthly ways.)

4. What if X happens — will you be there? (To which I say, to the best of my ability, and should you want me there, I’ll be there for you.)

Did I miss any? Send me a note here or bring up an additional question at our consult, should I be on the short or long list for your birth doula options :) I hope you find a calm, steady rhythm as you go through the process of finding your doula match. If you’re in SLO or North Santa Barbara County, you can schedule a free consultation with me here.

Sending care to you!

Xo

Caroline

Community Resources List

Central Coast Midwives

• Erin Ashley

• Jennifer Oquendo

• Alexis Starting

• Katrina Buldoc

• Mishell Whitacre

• Alia Clarke

Central Coast Birth Doulas

• Jes Godsey

• Moira Madsen

• Caroline Smith

• Tawny Sterios

• Holly Clark

• Zabrina Cox

• Nikita Bruxley

Central Coast Postpartum Doulas

• Veronica of Wholly Womb

• Caroline Smith

• Jes Godsey

• Tawny Sterios

• Rylee Ionascu

Central Coast Lactation Consultants & IBCLCs

• Lisa Boyd

• Rylee Ionascu

Central Coast Placenta Encapsulators

• Rylee Ionascu

Central Coast Massage Therapists

• Jasmine Potts

Central Coast Pelvic Floor PTs

• Jessica Chellsen

•

Central Coast Abdominal Massage (Sobadas)

• Katie Leach of Tend to Your Center

Central Coast Meal Delivery & Preparation

• Sacred Motherhood Meals

• Wildflower Medicine

• Wildtrek Wellness

• A Stone Was Shown

Central Coast Maternal Mental Health Support

• Bloom Maternal Therapy

• Tawny Sterios

For emergencies & urgent support, call the SLO Postpartum Support Hotline -

For emergency medical care, call 911 immediately.

Reading List Recommendations ~ A note from your doula

Books:

Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Christine Northrop, MD

The Rhythms of Women’s Desires by Elizabeth Davis

Heart & Hands, A Midwife’s Guide to Pregnancy and Birth by Elizabeth Davis

Orgasmic Birth by Elizabeth Davis

Birthing from Within

Podcasts:

ARC Woman

Blog Post Title Four

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.